I woke up this morning to learn that today I reached the official halfway point in my exchange. On Thursday I will take a train to a city called Köln, a.k.a Cologne, where I will have a seminar with the other exchange students and we’ll discuss our experiences so far. It’s crazy for me to think that I’ve been away from home and all the familiars for five months now. I know it probably looks like I am living a fairy tale dream from all my blogs and pictures, and in a way, I am. I have a lot to be grateful for, a wonderful family, new and accepting friends that have gotten me through a lot of sticky situations, and a million stories and memories that I’ll keep in my memory for the rest of my life.
However, at the same time, not everything has been rainbows and fairies. I’ve gone through a lot here, between changing myself, being isolated from the people that mean everything to me, and having to fit into a new and very different culture. I remember when I started German school, and I thought to myself, “How am I ever going to do this?” I was so confused, and even the little things, like having small talk or asking where I needed to be were tiring and challenging. I have come so far from then, and gained so much independence and valuable lessons. A very wise friend of my family’s told me during my first few days here, “you are still like a baby in diapers learning first to crawl and then walk and soon enough you will be thinking in German…on the first of the year you will not believe how far you’ve came.” This now has so much relevance. I’m now watching movies in German, understanding school, and having completely capable and intelligent conversations. I still get a little lost in the language and make mistakes sometimes (well, lets face it, often, German grammer is not my best friend...) but to think that I started with virtually nothing just a few months ago is unbelievable.
I can’t say this is typical of every exchange, but I’ve really grown up here. I don’t feel dependent on anyone anymore, I know that I can do things on my own; from figuring out a subject in a foreign language, to navigating transportation maps, to just being able to sit by myself and take some contemplation time. I’ve also let go of control and stress, I accept a situation the way it is, and take the necessary measures. Sometimes as an exchange student, or really just a human being, you just have to throw your hands up and say, “I’m letting go.” I know how to just let loose more so than ever.
Somedays it feels like I’m living in warp speed, and I can’t believe it’s already January. Other days it feels like June will never come and I will forever be in German limbo. It’s weird for me to think that this exchange won’t last forever. In June I will be right back in America for a full out American summer and senior year. That only means that I need to continue to live every day like it’s my last, keep jumping on every opportunity for adventure, and see new ways of life without losing who I am.
Carpe Diem, y’all.
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